Most people understand the concept of grief, but do you understand the concept of loss?
Annie (fictional name) lost her husband ten years ago. Every day she remembers him fondly. Every day she has a nagging ache in her heart because he has gone and left her. She has given up talking about him to her close friends and relatives as they are tired of the same stories. They also feel that she should be over the loss now and move on to newer topics of conversation. Annie is feeling that there must be something wrong with her because she can’t get past the grief.
Joe put all his belongings into a storage unit for a couple of weeks while deciding where he should reside next. The local gang had a vendetta against someone who had also put belongings into the storage facility. The gang set fire to the storage building and everyone’s belongings were disintegrated in the fire. The gang are now in jail, but Joe lost everything he owned and did not have insurance. He tried to move on and his friends told him to get over it. He felt devastated and it felt like his brain just wasn’t working properly anymore. His body was tired all the time and he was just sad. Two years after the fire, Joe was still not his happy self.
Loss is about the meaning of what is lost. Everyone experiences losses differently.
Sometimes you can have multiple losses in your life. Joe did not understand that other losses in his past life added onto this loss. This creates a great loss over time and thus a great grieving process for Joe. He was tired of loss in his life. He had lost a child in it’s first year of life. He had lost his wife in a car accident. He was losing his father to Dementia. These losses are all linked because they are all in Joe’s life.
Maybe you have suffered many losses in your life, but the last loss is what is taking you down. You are tired, depressed or sad and you have no-one to talk to because everyone is sick of listening to you. You can get through this time and this pain and you do need to talk.
Pure Counselling can help you to discover why it hurts so much, and then help with skills to use to power on through your life.